Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
