I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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