i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
