I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
