Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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