whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
