Your tits are I can't wait for
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He is an equal opportunity slut.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
