you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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