I puked a lego.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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