i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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