The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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