OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I wish you could order shots online.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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