Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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