Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have aggressive nipples.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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