Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
