You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize