That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
