I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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