I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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