i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
