i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
