so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
