Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
