your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
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