I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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