No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
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he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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