She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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