The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
