be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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