Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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