why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
