sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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