I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
