I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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