If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i believe in u and ur pee
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
