Porn is love you can see.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
