i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
