haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
