Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
