Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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