He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
