Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
