I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Someone shit on the floor
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
