what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
