Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
