Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
In America we eat man semen.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
