Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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