you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
