so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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