my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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