I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
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How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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