Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
