Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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