Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
