Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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