Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
