dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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