your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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