I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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