Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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