So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
