I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
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I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
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She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize