3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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