I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
