if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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